An anniversary is coming...

It's been almost a year.

ALMOST.

To the day.

That we first heard that she had cancer, not a stroke. That she would not be able to live on her own any more. That she had a "prognosis" not a "diagnosis"...

Things have changed. The world news cycle has clanked along. We are fine, then not. Remember her and then forget. Share a memory, and then hurriedly change the topic.

SO glad that we are normal.

It's been almost a year.

And there are days it is still very hard.

To God be the glory.

Deep Peace

I have been wrestling with not being "at peace" and feeling an ache in my soul some days. (Of course, the ache isn't there all the time -- but on the days where the storm is high and there is no peace... my very human heart longs for it.)

So this morning I found a Sunday song posted by Sophia at RevGals and it just spoke volumes to me. And peace, that DEEP PEACE, is nestling.

Thank you for a fresh breath of air. And peace.

Gaelic Blessing arranged by John Rutter

A first...

For the first time since the whole business started in October, I started back to singing in worship again. You know what? For a few hours, with rehearsals and then leading worship, everything faded. The paperwork. The pain. The loss.

I know my heart has not been in the right place. I know that I have been stuck on myself with this pity party that isn't great to be around. I really have tried to be "different" and to be "OK." But I also know that lying about how you feel, and not acting like you feel comes back to bite you.

It's a first that I can do and be what seems "normal" and not be suddenly caught in a crying jag.

I'm really grateful.